The story when one member of the Sharan family meets the rest of the family...
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Then: My family
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My dad’s eldest brother, my role model Tauji [uncle] - Dr. Vijay Kumar Sharan was visiting India in Feb 2020 as part of a Swedish delegation. Sarjana - my husband’s youngest cousin’s wedding ceremony was to take place that same month. This is precisely why my family of 5 happened to be in India during that same time frame. Interestingly, her wedding was being debated to happen sometime later in 2020, but my family found February dates more auspicious and thus more appropriate. (And if you were wondering, yes! This was right before the dreaded Covid-19!) When Vijay shared he was visiting India, I was ecstatic at the thought of meeting my favorite uncle after nearly 20 years. Ever since my grandparents had left this earth, his visits to India had reduced. I had moved to the USA in the meantime and didn't get a chance to meet my international relatives.
Now: My family
While in India, one fine evening Vijay got a brunch invite from someone I did not know. He made a quick phone call to share that I was invited too. Over the 30-second phone call, I didn’t quite understand why or whom. But I trusted his judgment, and so I reluctantly agreed. On the hind side, the thought of getting to meet him a few days ahead of the planned time over a meal sounded exciting enough.
My India vacations were everything but a vacation. They were hectic, tiring, and eventful - weddings, ceremonies, preps, shopping, chores, and so much more. For the longest time, we have battled between the two countries not sure which one to call our permanent home. For the most part, my kids Atharv, Avika, and Ishaan always accompanied me as either babies, toddlers, or tweens. Their unfamiliarity with the Indian ways of sleeping, eating, brushing, showering, and pooping didn’t make the overall experience any easier. To this, add the not-so-baby-proof homes. Also, add the collective jetlag leaving me or my kids unable to get any restful sleep for weeks before settling down into a new routine. And by the time a routine was established, we would pack our bags to repeat the whole cycle back home in the States! On these trips meeting anyone, specifically unknown strangers, used to be the last thing on my to-do list. My reluctance was well placed. 
And I will forever be grateful to the Universe for that lunch. Grateful to my family for arranging Sarjana’s wedding in February, and grateful for these many stars to align in a short and surprising event that was to unfold. Other than Sarjana’s wedding and the Swedish delegation happening at the same time, there was someone else to be thanked for. Ghaziabad’s Rotary Club happened to be on the list of organizations the delegation was supposed to connect with. Mr. Arun Kumar Agarwal was on the Board of this club. On this particular occasion, he happened to come across the list of delegates naming our very own unique and uncommon last name ‘Sharan’. He got curious and so they went off to hunt down. And boy wasn't it thrilling when it turned out to be the same Vijay.
So the third and final important link, in the unfolding of this mysterious past and future was the Rotary Club. Together the Swedish delegation, the wedding, and the Rotary Club unfolded a story of lost love and brotherhood.
Flashback to the mid-1800s, when my grandfather’s grandfather Choudhary Bhal Singh was born. His kids and grandkids grew up together as one close-knit family. They migrated to India during the India-Pakistan partition. During their lifetime they continued to move eastwards for jobs; and studies across the Northern belt of India from Harayana to Old Delhi, to New Delhi, before finally settling into my current hometown Ghaziabad, UP. They grew up together, eating, playing, and sleeping throughout their childhood. They moved as a unit, well up until Baba got married to my Dadi - Mrs. Shushila. And that’s where their story takes a twist.
When Atul was luckily awarded a government residence, his brothers were sad they would not be able to continue to see each other in the evenings after work. Back in the 60s/70s winning the lottery to one used to be a big deal. With a heavy heart, the elder one Keshav encouraged Atul to accept the offer as a blessing and keep progressing in life. With 6 kids, Atul too had great responsibilities on his shoulders and accepted the offer as the right decision in the interest of his growing family. And with success in life, thus came tears and parting. It was the beginning of these brothers building up their little nests.
1967: The proud Sharan brothers bid farewell to their son/nephew Vijay @ the Delhi airport First left - Vijay's Dad - Atul Krishan Sharan
Kid in specs - Arun Kumar Agarwal
A few more decades passed, when Shravan and Atul built their homes in Ghaziabad ensuring never to stay more than 15 min away from each other. My Dad’s - (Atul’s middle son) - wedding took place in this same home. When Daddy wrapped up his private medical practice in the UK and migrated back to India for good in 1987, the three of us settled back in this same home. That migration gave me a good 7+ teenage years of schooling and vacation time in my 4 years of college and beyond to spend in Ghaziabad. But, somewhere between Dad's marriage and his return to India after 14 years, life happened and connections were lost. Occasionally Daddy would fondly remember the times as a kid when he played with his cousins back in Delhi. But beyond that, I never got a chance to meet them. My curiosity about them never led to any answers. Eventually, between college, an intense career, marriage, and an unanticipated transition to a full-time (proud yet busy) mom, I too forgot about Dad’s childhood memories.
Fast forward, owing to Vijay Tauji’s brief phone call the night before - here I was sitting in Shravan Tauji’s living room enjoying an elaborate lunch. It took me a while to relate that the people I mistook to be strangers were family - so near and dear to my Baba. Shravan Tauji could not summed up in one line and deserves an entire memoir to himself.
https://ninaaadsaptak.blogspot.com/2024/01/shravan-kumar-agarwal-15-nov-1942-to-18.html
His eldest kid - Arun was hilarious. Arun’s mom, Vimla Taiji seemed years ahead in her time and age. She was a perfect combination of carrying old Hindu values yet imbibing newer ones, wherever the latter made more logical sense.
We had an ancestral temple that held immense significance to the family. In April 2023, Shravan Tauji arranged for me to receive darshan. It was my first visit. At the temple, a woman priest was anticipating my visit. It is very uncommon for the head priest of any temple to be a woman. She assisted me in performing a quick pooja. Dhoop, tikka, some hand impressions of mine over the main entrance in some holy water she had pre-prepared, followed by a few formal exchanges of gifts and cash and then a lunch together with her grandkids. Surprisingly we were done in about 15-20 min. I learned - that before she took over the position of the head priest some 30-odd years ago, her mother-in-law used to be the head priest. And prior to that, it was her mother-in-law’s, mother-in-law. That's how far she or anyone else in the family could date me back in time.
My curiosity arose again. I left Mehem wondering what circumstances led us to worship her. Was she awarded the title of Sati Ma owing to how pious she was? Or was she sadly the victim of the Sati Pratha? If victimized was she trying to protect her sanctity from (perhaps Muslim?) invaders in those times? What were the conditions in India in general at that time? What was her name? What did she look like? How many generations ago did this happen? How were we related? Why Mehem?
Even more interesting was that there was a row of 20-30 temples all situated in the same compound. Each tiny temple was dedicated to a specific Agarwal gotr. One belonged to the Mittals, another to Bansals, and so on to Kansals, Gargs, Goels, etc. What was so special about this location for so many temples to be located so close to each other all in the same compound? After all, this was a Shamsham ghat to begin with - which was now separated by a wall in recent decades right behind these temples. Were all these temples of different Sati Matas? And if so, how did they become Sati? Also, my birth gotr is Goel. (post marriage is Bharadwaj). So shouldn't we be the ones at the Goel temple?
For now, I consider myself fortunate enough to connect to one-fourth of my roots. As for the Dadi’s side, I will remain clueless until another magical mystery unfolds itself. A few more such magical coincidences also need to take place before I can connect to my beloved Late Nanaji and Late Naniji - Shri Chandu Lal Gupta and Smt. Kusum Lala Devi's glorious past and history too. May that day come sooner than later in my life!
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It's been an arduous task for my cousin Tushar to build our family tree by himself. But here are screenshots of overarching fragments with more inputs gathered from Atul’s grandkids.
My grandfather’s grandfather - Choudhary Bhal Singh & Parvathi - had five kids.
Their eldest son - my grandfather’s dad - Lala Paliram Sharan & Kishan Dei had 8 sons.
Their eldest son - Keshav Krishna Sharan & Indra Devi had two kids
Their eldest son - my uncle - Shravan Kumar Agarwal - the pivotal point of this memoir; introduced earlier in this blog.
Their eldest son - and my cousin Arun Bhaiya (who among other things is the President of the Rotary Club, Ghaziabad)
Of the 8 sons of Lala Paliram, Keshav Krishna was the first. The second one was Atul Krishna. Shri Atul Krishna Sharan’s (my dad’s dad) blog post can be found here. https://ninaaadsaptak.blogspot.com/2008/11/remembering-dadaji-shri-atul-krishna.html I am one of his 9 proud grandkids.
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