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Sunday, December 6, 2015

My journey from being non-veg; to vegetarian; to finally being vegan

As a vegan mentor, I was to write a small introduction to someone who needed a mentee. My small introduction took a larger form and I ended up pouring my heart towards the end. Here is goes: 
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I was born into a meat eating family. Back in UK, my tween birthday celebrations usually meant a trip to McDonalds for what then felt like a mouth watering treat of fish and chips. Fast forward 13 years. After returning to India, my mommy went back to vegetarianism and insisting me to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle. But just like most teenagers, I was way too intelligent than my own mom to decide what was best for me. In 2001 I met my cousin after several years. He was pursing his PhD in US and was visiting India on a vacation. I was utterly surprised, that he had chosen not to introduce meat, fish or eggs into his diet. Even being so far away from home, even when his vegetarian parents would have never known a thing about his newly adopted meet eating habits (if he choose not to share with them), even when he had all the chance to 'enjoy' his life, but choose not to. Piyush Bhaiya's revelation to problems such as world hunger, global warming and several other thoughts; all linked to increasing worldwide meat consumption; backed by deep reasoning and logic, and his stand behind a conscious decision of continuing a vegetarian diet, blew me away. I quit meat then and there. 

Fast forward several more years later, a mom myself and a software engineer at Nordstrom; through a common friend, I came in touch a vegan ambassador on Facebook. The word and the concept was brand new for me. So for almost an year I would glance at his and other 2000 members' posts in a vegan group; created to connect Vegans; and rather choose to ignore their claims. As was evident from several posts, several of them were unrelated to each other and had by chance, accidentally or otherwise come across this vegan group. At the same time, quite unusually back then, no one person was endorsing their products. In my eyes, these people had emerged out as 'successful vegan leaders'. Leaders because, they had started the journey 20, 30 sometimes 50 years ago; all alone; with occasionally a few being blessed with a supportive spouse. These people had had first hand experience of animal torture, suffering and pre mature animal killings and unlike the majority of us, these people choose to put an end to that gruesome suffering. Some of them shared their tough journey. Their families were ruthless against them, these vegans were made fun of at family gatherings, they faced shame and sometimes isolation too; all because they cared for another living being. Another living being, who was not somewhere buried deep down in the food pyramid, who was not a profit making commodity, who had a life and a family of it's own and who had a desire to continue to live - just like humans.  

I ignored those posts for a very long time, until in 2011, I finally made a choice to go vegan. Then the question arose - what about my kids? I have grown up with this absurd yet ingrained conation that a human can not stay healthy without cow's milk. My kids were my first priority, as I was responsible for bringing them to this earth. I felt the urge to fulfill their nutritional needs even if that meant at the cost of a calf's life. I felt torn apart between my new ideal world and the world I grew up in. Gradually through some contacts with strong vegan activists such as Richa Hingle, and more, I was put in touch with some very fine second generation vegans and other local vegan families with kids older than mine. With this knowledge - that with sufficient intake of greens, fruits and nuts my kids could not only stay heathy but also thrive; I was now all set on this vegan journey never once to look back, repent or regret. 

When you send out positive energies of love and compassion out there in the world to those 50+ male calves, who are being killed every second world wide; and to their grieving cow moms, they reciprocate in the most unseen, unimaginable lovable ways. 

Today with no dieting, shamefully no exercise, and 40 lbs lesser. With knees that don't need a surgery for growing pain; with a deo-less, if not exactly fragrant, but certainly bearable natural body scent; and with a better glowing skin that before; I am so proud that despite all the resistance from my closest loved ones in my life; I choose this path. I have a 7 year old boy. With close to 20 ear infections before his age 2, my home had converted into a mini dispensary (mini-pharmacy). After going door to door visiting several doctors from western medicines to alternate therapy, and hearing the same advise over and again, we finally had him off of dairy milk for several months; only to have his ear infections come back, when we restarted it. This was long ago I had heard the word vegan. With the cow's milk gone, so are gone all those painful ear infections. He wears thick frames though. My beautiful daughter, now 4.5 years is vegan since birth. She is strong brat. Sadly since she has alopecia, there is no month where I don't get to hear that her auto immune condition (alopecia) or my son's thick glasses are due to my bad food choices of not giving them the much needed cow's milk. I equate this stupid logic, to the same torture that women face in India from their mother in laws, for delivering a girl instead of boy - clearly knowing that the dad's chromosomes are responsible for the baby's gender.  

There are people who have thrown all kinds of logic out there. Calcium logic, protein logic, random nutrition logic, plant feel pain logic, animal hierarchy logic, Krishna loved butter logic, 'but you are driving and also creating pollution' logic,  'why make decisions for your kids logic'. I have tried to address several of those in my previous blogs. People who could see a connection, have approached me, tried to change their lifestyle and taken an approach where animals are left alone as much as possible. Ironically others are still busy giving and asking for me for more logic! 

The ground reality will always remain the same. I cant disassociate myself from the pain of a cow. She is a mom and so am I. I don't see a difference. But I do see several similarities between myself and those two Indian females, also very near and dear to me, who faced a lot of opposition for choosing a boy out of their caste. In the end their love won over all odds. These two strong women, came out victorious. In spite of their family's extreme opposition they got to choose and marry the love of their life.  

In Geeta, Krishna says, "Focus on your doing, rather than bothering about their results as you would expect them to be; as the outcome is not in your hands". I try and try harder to follow it in principle, yet at the same time I anxiously wait for the day when my love for veganism - my life's third love (after my partner and kids) comes out victorious. I pray to Shivji to give me strength that after fighting all odds; like those two strong women, I too get an acceptance from that small bunch of people closet to my heart. 

#GoVegan
For the humans
For the planet 
For the animals 

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Answers to several questions by a non-vegan

Comment by a non-vegan: "For centuries in India we have used ghee and butter, no sweet can be made without it. When we were growing up cows and their babies were part of the family we used to play and have conversation and compassion for them. Hope in India it is still authentic."
My response: I have seen pictures of dairy farms in our Holy city of Benaras. The new born male calf is tied far away from its mom, so that it can not drink mom's milk. A few days later the calf is seen half dead and fainted from hunger and heat.

Once near to death, these Hindu dairy farmers sell them to people whose religion does not prohibit chopping cows and their calves. In turn the Hindu dairy owners accept the money that they get by selling these calves.

Male calves are killed because they cant produce baby calves nor can they give milk. They are not needed to plough fields, as tractors can do the same job in less time at a cheeper price. These babies are an unwanted by product of the dairy industry.

There are other pictures again from the holy city. Where the dairy farmer is shown having 500-1000 cows and just 1-2 bulls locked behind closed bars - jail style. In his interview he explains, that he takes good care of his bulls.

Sorry to mention this, but just imagine something like this happening with humans! The scene or situation is beyond imagination.

I keep mentioning Banaras, since who could imagine anything bad being done in that city. Lets talk about Bengal. Mahatma Gandhi ji has clearly written in autobiography - why did he leave cows milk. More than a 100 years ago from now, he witnessed, dairy farmers lifting the cow's tail and blowing hard. This caused immense pain to the cow, yet it also produced more milk. Not sure what unimaginable things are being done today.

Oh and once the cows are unable to give any milk and produce babies, they are transported to slaughter houses under inhumane conditions. To give an example, fit 12 people in a Maruti 800 with no AC! By the time they reach the slaughter houses, they are dehydrated, bleeding, have not been able to sit for more than 12 hours at a stretch (since they is no space to move) and are sick already.

You would have heard newer and never techniques used by Mayavati in UP in the newly opened slaughter houses. Cows and Buffaloes are tricked into thinking they see another cow or buffalo ahead of them and keep walking. Once inside the trap / cage, the door is locked from behind and as they extend their neck to come closer to the cow in front of them, its too late for them to realize that its just a mirror. The knife has already cut their necks by now.

The crazy demand for paneer in samosas and dosas and no have to guest leave the home with out a paneer butter masala. Today's generation having endless pizzas. This crazy demand is driving increased milk production. Each kilo of paneer, cheese, butter needs 10-20 kilos of milk.

Since the cows and buffalos are producing milk at unseen rates, there is an excess of useless bodies. What better to the dairy farmer, if even these dead bodies can fetch them some money. India is the largest beef exporter in the world and its production in tones is increasing each year!

How can I - just one person, put an end to this. by stop having dairy. But telling all my friends to cook me potatoes instead of paneer, almond milk instead of dairy milk, kadhi made from cashew milk. (there are articles on the net comparing the cost of kaDhi made from cows milk v/s cashew milk) and that the cashew milk Kadhi comes out to be cheeper!

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Veganism - common questions and my responses!

Growing up with the philosophy that a different species milk is absolutely essential to meet my body's needs; and that not consuming a cows milk can result in severe health issues, it was impossible to imagine a world without milk curd, paneer, tea and more. However when I gradually opened my heart and mind to a new opinion and realized there is more to the reality behind the milk, the ugly heartbreaking facts were not only shocking but also life changing. One discussion with my cousin, and I become a vegetarian over night in 2001. However leaving dairy including all its derivatives for a tough decision - one that I am not only proud of today, but also find it a cause, for which I am willing to sacrifice two hours of my sleep tonight, to respond to some of the questions that I have explained before, yet keep coming up again and again from different friends and family.

Below is a part of an personal message I received this morning. None of the questions are new. The same questions have been brought up several times before by several others in one on one discussions, in chats and else where. Since the repetition, hence the need to blog-itize them!

Below is the original mail and my response to them..... Feel free to leave comments:

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QUESTIONS


"Pranam bhabhiji, [Greetings Sis-in-law] At the outset I like to thank for your passion for vegan movement. Being myself vegan too, it implored me to write as well and congratulate on same. The motive is beautiful and pious. At the same time I wanted to mention some points which I wanted to share. Gandhi ji himself tried being non veg for a thought that he would beat British... He left even milk thinking it to be animal product.....but later resorted to goat milk. Some thoughts do creep.... Logics for vegan are strong... But How will a person in Finland , Denmark survive where negligible vegetation grows, same in thar desert or in sahara. How will person survive if lack of veg in shop or someone in coastal where sand does not allow great veg food.... It is reeds and weeds which grow. He will move to fish by force. If veg substitute is available, than theory goes well, but there are situations where it is survived tactics. I am a runner, athlete, removing milk from diet is hazardous as then I cannot run, and I do not eat meat as well.... It is matter of choice. Man started by hunting, and things turned better when fire was invented. It is more of geography, demographics which decides food and not religion or blood. For eg. In India before 1900s non veg was taken by brahmins. When in 1920s to 1930a people under ambedkhar kind of people shunned brahminical order, vegetarian concept by Hindu mahasabha cropped up. It was false but successful propaganda. In these lines veg is only concept, a part of food chain. Your concept is great. It is like to choose whether I like apple, lava or whatever brand." *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
MY RESPONSES

Pranam Bhaiya, [Greetings Brother]

Please note: VEGAN and VEGETARIAN are NOT the same. Thus these words should NOT be used interchangeably. 

What defines a vegan
Vegans do not condone the use of animals for: food, clothing, entertainment, pets, or science.
Vegans do not consume any animal products, which include meat (flesh), dairy, eggs, honey, gelatin, and any other animal secretions, or their derivatives.
Vegans abstain from wearing animal products, such as fur, leather, wool, cashmere, suede, and silk.
Vegans do not use products tested on animals.
Vegans do not support the use of animals for entertainment, such as cock fighting, dog fighting, horse racing, hunting, rodeos, the use of animals in television, and the circus.


Gandhi's Goat Milk Consumption
Perhaps every child has heard or read that Gandhi ji did not have cows milk. Instead he had goats milk. And this is true, as can be found in his autobiography. But the why behind it is always missing. Gandhi ji was perhaps the first few vegans of his times. In his autobiography, he has mentioned in detail the 'phook' method, which was the practice of the dairy farmer blowing [air] into the cow's vagina. (please free to pick up Rs20 copy of his autobiography before counter questioning me) Gandhi ji has further mentioned that the phook was done to increase the milk production, at the cost of ignoring the fact that it was very painful and unbearable for the cow. Out of disgust for the inhumane treatment (which is far far better than what a cow undergoes today) Gandhi ji condemned dairy consumption. However medical science was not able to identify that B12 found in dairy milk, (as in good quality soil) could make someone deficient on a dairy free diet. Gandhi ji started feeling mental fatigue and was thus in a good way forced by the doctors to start consuming milk. Since Gandhi ji was against oppression, he finally decided to own a goat as his pet and consume only that milk which that particular goat produced. In Richard Attenborough's Gandhi, do you remember the scene when Nehru and others are having political discussions around partition and governance, and Gandhi ji slips away to take care of a bruised goat knee. That level of affection - the kind a mom would gives its child, leaving all worldly affairs to the side to attend to its crying baby - is unseen in today's pizza-panner-dairy milk chocolate driven world. Today we know that B12 can be taken as a supplement. There is no need to force a cow into pregnancy just to maker her produce milk, and then to steel her male calf away from her, only to meet your B12 needs. There are better ways to do that! 


Negligible Food Crop Growth
Finland and Denmark together make 0.0015% of the world population. ( 5.4+5.6 M / 7.3 B) 

0.0015% is such an insignificant percentage. So lets say 1% of world population cant produce its own food! Like really!  Greenland grows cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce ALL year around in greenhouses. Finland also grows seasonal zucchini, spinach, beetroots, green beans and what not.  Anyways, coming to where I live, in every single grocery store in Seattle, we get year around tomatoes, oranges, mangoes and what not! Fruits and vegetables which were to grow only in particular seasons of the year are flown in from Cuba, Mexico, Australia, Canada and other parts of the world and we Seattle-ities enjoy everything at all seasons (sadly even haven forgotten the concept of seasons in our zest to enjoy).

Desserts: Umm that reminds me of of yummy Rajasthani food. Gattey ki sabji and what not! Oh well, of course there are religious in the world which even allow you to slit the throat of the camel on which you were riding, to quench your thirst in those acute conditions. But does that sound normal under normal circumstances?

Okay so I think Finland and Denmark were wrong examples to begin with. I would have rather have you asked what should the eskimo eat? Well whose telling an eskimo to go vegan anyways? My facebooks posts are geared towards normal human beings growing around crops or staying in well off places where plant based foods can meet all of your nutritional demands.

I am an athlete
Please follow this link and study the diet and interviews of the body builders, and professional athletes. Who said meet is required to run. In 'Autobiography of a Yogi', do you remember the Vaidya, who ran 80 Kilometers all night, on foot along the train track to attend to the sick which he used to visit every week. The train getting cancelled did not deter him from not attending his patients. Needless to say that he was a vegetarian. Any how there are way many more modern day names in my other vegan posts as well in the link and elsewhere.

Who determines food choices
We consumers determine food choices. When cows were allowed to graze in fresh grass and not taught to eat cow meet, corn and soy, not tied up in 6x3 foot cages, not made to stand in their own feces entire day, did not have rod inserted into their vaginas to artificially inseminate them, and immediately after delivery - not have their male calfs stolen away from them, AND were allowed to feed their male calves, till they decieded to wean off themselves (just like human babies) When all this was happening - THEN the milk was truly healthy and pure. Not any more today.

'Concept' of Veganism?
Veganism is not a concept. Its a reality. There is a slow and steady rise in the number of vegans in US, in India and worldwide. With every protest I demonstrate at, there are more and more people understanding its high time we opened our eyes towards the atrocities to animals and stopped consuming a more healthy diet. In my own life I have lost 40 pounds (18 Kgs) just by quitting dairy from my life. I eat sugar and oils even more than what I used to. People have got ridden of Diabetes, High BP, Cholesterol and in even cancer in some cases, just by giving up milk and its derivatives (yogurt, khoya, panner, butter, ghee etc) 100%. Since you seem genuinely interested, I highly recommend you join the Facebook group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/indianvegans/. 
There are tons of independent researchers, folks and people from all walks and streams of life sharing their experiences and helping out debunk the human-needs-cow-milk-myth. Jai Kanahiya ji ki!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

DanceLikeAMan - A play directed by Agastya Kohli ji

July 25th 2015 
ACT Theatre, 
Seattle 

Prologue to the Play 
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Bharatanatyam

Origin
The Indian classical dance form of Bharatanatyam, as we know it today, has its origins in a dance form called Sadir Natyam, dating back nearly 2000 years. ‘Bharata’ is the ancient name for India as well as the name of the sage (Bharata Muni) who codified the performing arts in a scripture, written in Sanskrit, around 200 B.C., called ‘Bharata’s Natyashastra’ and Natyam refers to the art of dance-drama. Sadir Natyam was danced in the temples of South India by the Devadasis (meaning servants of God,  they were women devotees dedicated to the temples). Bharata declared that this dance “Shall be the happy adoration of the world.”

Sadir or Bharatanatyam evolved through the centuries. An important milestone happened in the late 18th century, led by four brothers known as the Thanjavur quartet. They were the four sons of the nattuvanar Subbarayan: Chinnayya, Ponnayya, Vadivelu, and Sivanandam. They also refined the music of Bharatanatyam, influenced no doubt by their musical mentor, the great composer Muthuswamy Dikshitar. 

Decline
Under British rule, propaganda prevailed against certain Indian art forms, misrepresenting it as crude, immoral, demeaning to women, and inferior to the concepts of Western civilization. This influence alienated educated Indians from Bharatanatyam. The devadasi system declined.  Even the terms by which the dance was known – SadirNautchDasi Attam, and so on – took on derogatory connotations. By the first quarter of the 20th century Bharatanatyam was dead to the world.

Revival
Despite all odds, Bharatanatyam persevered within a few families in Tamil Nadu. Its revival involved individuals from disparate backgrounds: Indian freedom fighters, Westerners interested in Indian arts, people outside the devadasi class who learned Bharatanatyam, and devadasis themselves. E. Krishna Iyer was a freedom fighter and lawyer, who had learned Sadir Natyam. He campaigned to raise public interest in the dance, and sought to give the dance form a measure of respect by proposing a resolution at a 1932 meeting of the Madras Music Academy to rename it as "Bharatanatyam" (or the Indian Classical Dance). With the involvement of foremost dancers such as Kalanidhi Narayanan of Mylapore, Rukmini Devi of Adyar, and Anna Pavlova and leading Theosophosists such as Dr. George Arundale and Dr. Annie Besant, Bharatanatyam received a spiritual and disciplinary overhaul. Slowly the dance form started attracting young artists from respectable families. Initially met with shock, their participation ultimately helped to shift public opinion in favor of reviving the art.
Rukmini Devi’s reforms of costume, stage setting, repertoire, musical accompaniment, and thematic content, overcame the objections of conservatives that Bharatanatyam was vulgar. She went on to found the Kalakshetra institute, to which she attracted many great artists and musicians, with whom she trained generations of dancers.

Bharatanatyam soon became one of the most widespread and popular Indian classical dance forms. It wasn’t long before it achieved international recognition as one of India’s treasures.


Devadasi Pratha
“Devadasi Pratha” (or cult of the female servants of God) was a religious practice in parts of Southern and Eastern India, whereby a daughter from a family was married to a deity in a temple. The girl remained dedicated to the temple for the rest of her life. Originally, in addition to taking care of the temple and performing rituals, Devadasis learned and practiced Sadir (Bharatanatyam), Odissi, and other classical Indian artistic traditions and enjoyed a high social status. Scholars date the origin of the system to as far back as 6th century B.C.

Devadasis enjoyed the patronage of the royal houses throughout centuries. The Chola Empire (1010-1200) brought the system to its glory. Inscriptions reveal that the 400 dancers, their gurus and orchestras, were maintained by the Brihadeesvarar temple, Thanjavur under the patronage of the Chola kings. As the Chola Empire expanded in wealth and size, they built more temples throughout their rule. Soon other emperors started imitating the Chola Empire and contributed to the system. Indian classical dances (Bharatanatyam and Odissi) owe their early development and discipline to these temple Devadasis who danced for the deity every day. Devadasis were believed to be bearers of good fortune and enjoyed immense power and social standing.

With the decline of India Royal houses (as British rule prevailed), royal patronage of Devadasis dwindled. Many Devadasis are believed to have taken to prostitution to make ends meet. During the first half of the 20th century, reformists worked towards outlawing the Devadasi tradition on grounds that it supported prostitution. Colonial views on Devadasis are hotly disputed by several groups and organizations in India and by western academics as the inability of the British to distinguish them from the girls who danced in the streets for reasons other than spiritual devotion to the deity Social reformers such as Ram Mohan Roy and Muthulakshmi Reddy questioned the practice of Devadasi system and pleaded for its abolition. The first legal initiative to outlaw the devadasi system dates back to the 1934 Bombay Devadasi Protection Act. The Devadasi system was completely outlawed in India in 1988. What remained with a few surviving Devadasis was an expansive vocabulary of the classical dance.
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Outside the entrance of where this beautiful play takes place, are two huge boards, with the above words printed on them. If you read them before the play began, you would know whats going on. Otherwise its actually impossible to make a connection on why one of the best directors of our times would put in so much effort in #DanceLikeAMan. Sadly these two boards were too long to be read at either of the two times -  One, when you are running inside at the beginning to get the best seats available; or two - while coming out during the interval for needed breaks. 

Unlike modern day Bollywood shake-body-parts-in-myraid-and-weird-ways, aiming to show-just-enough-skin-as-to-not-come-under-nude-category; Indian classical dances are complex and take years of dedication before they are mastered. There are 7 major forms of these complex Indian dances, Bharatnatyam being one of them. To give some context, each eyebrow movement in Bharatnatyam implies a unique gesture, in the story it is telling, as does each unique movement of the fingers, palm and wrist as so on. 

Having given a longer than needed introduction, the point here is - that with so much effort put into it, how many of us really knew the why behind the play?  


The Play itself
- The story line was pretty intense. The audience from Indian origins felt like an actual living and breathing drama happening right before their eyes. 
- There with moments which were not served like a grab-and-go meal, but where one had to join the pieces together to figure out the rationality behind some of actor's intense emotions. One of the places, where the audience had to connect dots, was when Ratna having sacrificed her career for her second child, could not differentiate her daughters success from her own, and so she was adamant on sticking those news articles full of accolades in her own album. 

- All over the world wonder women (Actually, the fact is the word 'wonder' is implied and not needed and women are being discussed). be it in art such as dance or any other professions have successfully managed both - running their family succesfully while keeping their passion alive within them. The fact that Ratna was forced to choose one over the other was rather dogmatic. 
-  Was Jairaj really a mediocre at dancing was never clear? If yes, why did he fuss over the decision to not have him perform be the lead dancer. If not, how could his skills fade in an year and he turn towards alcoholism and not rebound in his passion? Those specific dialogues between Ratna and Jairaj were not very clear. 
 - There were scenes, which slowed down the pace. One was when the gurus were annoyed or seemingly annoyed. That entire never ending discussion on how they felt or did not feel - rather left a bad taste in the mouth, on how impatient or demanding Indian Dance Gurus could be. Multiple those 5 minutes of a unnecessary negative portrayal before 150 people times 11 shows. 
- The ending was too abrupt. The sudden death of Jairaj and Ratna felt as if the audience mistakenly felt asleep and missed something crucial in between.  

Acting
- Not once did the actors fail during their super long intensely emotional dialogues. 
- Multiple transitions from present to past and back were crisp and clear. Without changing a thing on the set, without any background music, without any graphical effects otherwise possible on a TV show or in a movie - the seamless transitions were nothing short of a miracle! 
- In my personal opinion, Amritlal's role was the best of all. That hunch in the back, those voice modulations with elongated words joining each other were awesomely captivating. With each  stage presence, the audience was being transported to the mid 1900's. 
- Ironically the old Jairaj could have done far better. For one of the many instances, it was hard to say, what was old Jairaj thinking as he stared at his future son-in-law in his first scene. 
- During one of the flash backs, in her first few interactions with her FIL, young Ratna looked annoyed instead of serious at the beginning. The real needed annoyance came out really well towards the end though. 

The Set  
- Stage usage with its two additional rooms was extremely well thought of. 
- In what seemed a small stage setting, back stage voices from kitchen and upstairs were distinct and coming from different corners of the stage. You could actually see an invisible second story in that home above that kitchen! 
- At the change of scene, the two doors closing smoothly together were a sweet surprise. 


Additional Classical Dance
A big thanks to Joyce, to have explained a bit of her performance in the beginning. A dumb like me could comprehend only those portions of her beautiful performance that were initially explained? :) Wish her daughters performances were given a brief introduction too. 

Last Note
All in all, its easy to sit down on a laptop and write. But coming up on the stage are wearing someone else's hat who does not even exist in today's times - is not at all easy. Though I wont get a chance, yet if I did, I would see the play all over again. 

Sunday, May 17, 2015

I just can't quit my one cuppa Tea (Coffee)

"I can leave everything, except Tea!" 

"But even doctors say you can have one cup of tea (one cup of coffee) a day"

"I have got to have something warm after waking up" 

"Without coffee, I don't feel fresh. I can't go to work / do house hold chores / do blah blah blah."

"I am not addicted like you were Deepti. I just like to have it. Nothing will happen if I don't have tea, but I still have it.  

"You are vegan. Well I am vegan too." (After some follow up clarification questions from me...) "Well I mean, little-bit-vegan. I don't like cheese. Ya, I can eat cheese in pizza, but not otherwise. I eat paneer [cottage cheese] very rarely. Like once a week. Ya chai is one thing I can not leave." 

"Arey Deepti I already know tea / coffee is not good! That's why I have only one cup a day." 


"Bas too much hoagaya. [Enough of your lecture] I don't want to listen to how cows are treated, else it will become 'so difficult' for me to have my tea. I cant live without my tea."

"I 'don't like the taste of milk'. So I add a little bit tea to it. After that it tastes so much better. Thats the only way I can have milk, otherwise it tastes so bad"

And more...


Did you ever want to leave tea or coffee, and thought you can't? And if yes - do you have your own unique and different excuse (politically correct phrase: 'genuine reason' thats preventing you from doing so? 

Each week, I have a brand new voice telling me, they can not become vegan because, they can quit everything made from dairy; but the tea (coffee)! The responses above, are actual responses given by real people as a part of our conversation! 

First of all for God sake, stop telling me you have tea, cause thats the only way you can intake milk in your body. Cows are surviving and thriving without human milk since eons! So can you without steeling theirs! 

Now My Dearies, allow me to BREAK YOUR MYTH! If an ordinary person like me can quit tea and coffee, so can YOU! For many of vegan friends, quitting all dairy, meat, eggs, fish has been an overnight deal. For me it took me one full year. Especially when it came to tea - partly the relaxation my addiction gave me, and partly the social acceptance I received on sharing a cup of tea with friends and family, I had three iterations of quitting and restarting tea within the first year of being an aspiring-vegan.  

As I learnt later in life, any residual craving in the after years, was either due to lack of sleep or some emotional need; and unlike my earlier belief of tea as one-fix-for-all; required either resting, going for a walk or distraction methodology such as watching TV or 'retail therapy' (usually the last one as hubby's credit card info safely resides in Amazon.com's 1-click. Or if nothing else the Alderwood Mall is just 10 minutes away :) 
None the less, I can not emphasize more. The freedom I felt from over coming my addiction was priceless. 

And if are still in doubt about your addictions - I can gladly put you in touch with my colleagues from work; or prior to that - my Bangalore's Paying Guest aunt or even way before that - my college time friends. Even after a decade and half, my ex-room mates sometimes talk about the enormous amounts of time and energy I would spend to acquire one cup of special request post-dinner tea; which unlike the morning, noon or evening servings was a privileged cup, as it was not a part of the hostels menu's scheduled servings.  

But, lets begin with the chat-pati [spicy] story first.  

Duration: Courtship. Circa 2004  
Location: Jaya Nagar, Bangalore
Time: Never too cold, never too warm nice (read: romantic) Saturday afternoon. 
Scene: I haven't had my fix since several hours now. And my body is craving. Having managed to survive on alcohol since college days (Yups! Poor guy - he was completely normal, before he married me!!!), Abhinav is not yet entirely familiar with x-y coordinates of tea and coffee stalls in Jaya Nagar. As a reminder, this is the pre smartphone / yelp / google-maps age. I share the idea of having a cup of chai / or the yummy Madras coffee, which ever could be spotted first. Another 10 minutes have passed and so I remind him. In his usual gentle voice he tells me he thought there was one was in the direction in which we both were heading; but since there isn't, he will keep looking as we continue to stroll. Another 10 more minutes; and my head is pounding and aching so badly that I almost yell at  him - "I need it and I need it now!" I leave the rest of the conversation and our evening to your imagination :) Anyhow, the one good outcome of that fateful evening was that, until up to 2011, we both knew if I didn't get my anticipated fix, who was in trouble! :) 

Fast forward to 2010; I was contemplating whether there was any truth to all the violence the animals were shown to experience, or whether there were more secrets to this whole notion of veganism. Unlike other vegans, I did not have one single person in my life, to hold my hand and show me the path. Instead I had the support system of (then 2000) people, all of whom I had never met, heard or seen before - except on the facebook forum Indian Vegans. Here people who shared their experiences and responded to my doubts and fears came from all walks of life. From musicians, to engineers, lawyers, teachers, librarians, judges, doctors, students, models, athletic trainers, body builders, sports players, actors, singers, etc. There were 80 years olds, who had been vegan since over 5 decades and there new and curious ones like me; There were seasoned ones - extremely confident about their vegan pregnancies, and al categories falling somewhere in between. As I read people's stories and experiences from all walks of life, I instantly gave up all things dairy. Paneer, Cheese, Pizza, Butter, Khoya, Creamery, Yogurt, Butter-Milk, Ghee plus all dairy based sweets, cookies, bread and related items (I had already quit meat back in 2001 when my cousin Piyush shared his thoughts back then)   

Tea was something that needed some work. Post meals I would become a potato couch until I had a cup of tea. My life was surrounded by either tea, or the thought of having tea, or from the lingering memories of the tea that I had the last time. House hold chores were planned around my tea. First tea - then this. First tea - then that. No tea - no this, no that! 

So it was during those days, I was experimenting with almond tea and other non-dairy alternatives tea. Abhinav ji started liking those too. For a long time, we ended up consuming home made non dairy tea / coffee. It struck me one day, that I can have home-made or store-bought vegan milk stand by in the comfort of my own home; but what when I am away? What when I visit a friend straight from work? What when I end up being at a new place unplanned? How would I survive without my doze then? 

Around that time, I also happened to visit India. A few weeks into my trip, owing to my weakness I caved in and gave up my resolution. The four to eight times a day, tulsi, black pepper and ginger added to that perfectly brewed dairy milk chai spreading its soothing aroma into every nook and corner of the home was way too tempting to care about a voiceless non-human's life and death. In other words, no matter how gruesome the thought of cows being raped, new born calves being torn away, or no matter how heart wrenching the recorded cries of those new mother cows dying to feed their baby; it took me almost an entire year to be able to kick out dairy based caffeine and nicotine from my life. 

Coming to the only important part  - 
In my various attempts to leave these socially accepted addictions, one of the experiments that turned out super successful was pretty easy to implement too. This is what I did: 

Add the usual 1-2 spoons of regular sugar into boiling water. Add extra sugar if you feel like. Forget calories for a month. For some frame of reference, that one can of coke you had yesterday, had one cup of sugar in it. Plus your body is anyhow way toxic and dehydrated from the tea and coffee from years of consumption, that a few extra spoons of sugar for a month would make no difference to its overall health and wellbeing. On the contrary, its rather going to thank you in less than a couple of months from now when you are have quit. If you in the mood, also add any or of all of the following - tulsi leaves, black pepper, ginger powder or freshly grated ginger. In short, make your regular tea, minus the tea leaves and minus the dairy milk. 

Now drink this! I guarantee this combination alone is going to give you instant satisfaction. I would be surprised if you said otherwise. I would be happy to learn about your experience either ways; which believe me - will be very positive. 

As a side note - if you were born in India 200 years ago, (precisely before the Britishers invaded Indians), this is exactly what you would have been served - minus the sugar; which would be have been replaced with the more grounded alternative - the unprocessed predecessor 'jaggery'.  

Lets getting to the science behind why do we get addicted: 
Other than water, the main ingredients of tea are: 

  • Nicotine / Caffeine: addictive (as we all know) 
  • Sugar: addictive for many (instant form of energy or kick)
  • Milk from an animal - whether cow or human: ADDICTIVE

In a simple scenario - Lets imagine (in the ideal world where the calf is allowed his mother's milk) one day he just tells him mom - "Nah! Not in a mood to drink your stuff mom. I plan to graze on grass today." Okay, may be it didn't strike you as something odd. Lets take a human baby. 

Now what if the human baby said - "Nah! Not in a mood to drink your stuff mom. I plan to chew some pakoras (salted fritters) today." This is how you would respond to that - "Well my darling infant, first - in your initial months of birth, you still don't have teeth yet. And second - your intestines are not yet developed to handle any food, other than the milk Mother Nature has designed to have your human mom produce for you!" 

Its for this reason, all milk - and yes all milk coming from any mom, whether human or tiger or cow is designed to be addictive. When 10 year old human infants continue to have those morphins from another animal mom; day-in and day-out, increasing their consumption as they grow from kids into teens, to 20's, to 30's and then finally forever - they do get hooked to it for a lifetime. 

The trick is to break that cycle of addiction. 

With that done - your battle is half won. The warm water and sugar - once or even several times a day - continues to give you some of that same level of comfort you are used to. Finally at some point - your body learns not to depend on those empty calories alone and at this point you have already broken the schakels of addiction to quite an extent. Just keep going to a point where your body reduces or refuses to have that senseless sugary drink. 
     
Once done - sit in front of a mirror, give yourself a nice deep look, and pat your back! Praise yourself for having won the war that many will sadly continue to struggle with!! 

Oh and to avoid my hosts from the guilty of not serving me a drink, I usually keep sipping from a glass of water. Makes everyone happy! 

PS: After sharing my success story dozens of times with friends and family, Abhinav Ji finally decided to take up to the challenge for himself. At the point of writing this he is sober since over 16 days now. Mind it - I am not using the word sober, in any light humor here. For many of us tea coffee are no less terrible addictions than alcohol. His battle is a battle already half - won. When does yours start? 

Lets collectively stop this socially acceptable drink to continue to dehydrate and destroy our bodies.   

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Quick Tips when a baby is around the corner

One of my dear friends is pregnant and I am super happy for her. Heres a quickie of what I intended to share with her. Hope it helps other would be moms too. 

As I was trying to recollect what should she buy. Heres what I could recollect. Got to write it all down before I totally forget in the next few years :) 


Medications and Oils: 

Eucalyptus oil - Most helpful in colds and coughs. Put 1-4 drops in a pan of boiling water. Have your baby in your lap. Ask your spouse to cover you both with a blanket. The steam carrying vapors of the oil help open us blocked nostrils. 

For clearing nose snorts.Nosefrida Aspirator/ - Highly recommended on Amazon 

Baby friendly thermometer. (One with more plastic and less glass exposed for the risk of falling down and breaking into pieces)

Fever medication. (I am against western medication (also known as allopathy) However this is one thing, I believe your home should have. ) India - paracetamol broken into tinier pieces helps. In US, stores sell Tylenol specific to the baby's age group.  


Clothes 
Shoes, slippers, sandles until age 6 months is a total waste of money. Another total waste of money are hand mittens. (better use socks to prevent the baby from scratching her/himself) 

Fancy clothes are useless too. The baby remains swaddled mostly or is throwing up or is getting a massage ( Very important to do - for proper blood circulation). Hence buttonless, hookless, pinless, too much of strings and addons less are recommended. Basically simple designs on gentle fabric (preferably organic) cottons are the best. Have at least 6-8 pairs of dresses on hand.  

Try to keep the head covered as much as possible. The reason is a lot of heat is lost from the head. The fat is what helps the baby to stay warm. A new baby is born without the fat - to help itself easily squeeze out of a mom's vagina during birth. 

Additional layers - to the extent that the baby is not loosing a ton of its body's water in sweat are always recommended too. 

Cloths
(1) 5-8 burp clothes. Size approx: 1'x6'' ( 1 feet by 6 inches) 
(2) 10-12 bed sheets. Size approx: 3'x2'. Preferably with plastic beneath and (organic is best) cotton on the side facing the baby. 
(3) 4-6 swaddlers. Minimum size approx 2'x2'. 

If you are India, you can tear a nice bedsheet into squares and rectangles. In US, if you are on a low budget, there is at least one Dollar Store in every neighborhood. You might have to visit a few of these stores to get everything you have on your list. They are unpredictable in what they carry. If you and your partner are ok with using second hand products - local Thrift stores are a good option too. 

More Info
A baby center video on the how best to swaddle (tightly wrap a baby to prevent him to wake up from his own jerks. (Swaddling process starts at 2 minutes). 

People / Newsletters I read and subscribed to
You will be spending a ton of time just sitting with newly born in your lap. So I HIGHLY recommend you always the the material next to you bedside / listen to / watch that you always wanted to read, but could not do so in the past due to lack of time.

For Birth Plans and Info on intervention-less deliveries 
1. https://www.pennysimkin.com/articles-resources/ - Check File Library 
2. If you are in the US, you are allowed to make way more choices. Heres an idea on how to write a birth plan.  
3. If I know you personally, I would be happy to share my personal birth plan with me. Just shoot me an email. 

Newsletters I subscribed to: 
Also when I was pregnant with Atharv, for baby related info, I had subscribed to tons of websites. The more one reads, the less there is worry about the day-to-day changes that are part of the growing process of a newly born baby. 

Babycenter.com AND Babycenter.co.in, 
Ivillage.parenting.com, 
Indianparenting.com, 
Swedish /Overlake/ Group - which ever your hospital is. They too have nice info.  

Post Delivery
Let me stress on this once again You will never again get this kind of time to read this much until several years in future. Here are some suggestions based on your interests 
1. Books (Novels, Non-fiction, technical), Magazines
2. Audible.com (If a laptop is not feasible, there is an app for smartphone 
3. Documentaries, TV serials on Netflix, Youtube, Youku etc.  

*****

Handling the 'Law' (especially Mother In Law!)  
You will get a ton of advice from your MIL. Some of her requests are doable. Some is not. Its your baby and not your MIL. Your focus should be on what is best for your baby and not how to explain situations to your MIL.  For instance, if you MIL expects you to keep your hands, legs and and head self covered - she has a point to make there. I did it with my second one and there is marked improvement of handling temperature variations in the second one than my first one. ( There were other factors too, such as my first one was a winter baby, where as the second one was a summer one. Plus by the time the second one came, we became vegans - which boosted the general immunity of my family by many times). Any how the point I was coming to. If you feel suffocated with a cap in 40 degrees celsius - you can very well show her you that you tried just because you wanted to be a good DIL and have been sweating since the last 30 minutes and perhaps are on the verge of a severe dehydration by now... which is worst for your kid than not wearing a cap yourself. Let her take the call and make her feel proud to have made that choice that over clothing the new mom was a bad idea to begin with. Win-win situation for both. 

If your baby's no longer an infant, heres a nice business idea - Start a 'MIL Management sessions'. I bet there are a lot who would like to join ;) 

More later.