Googled and Found These Lovely Snippets over the internet!
* When one kid is gone, it feels like a vacation.
Just as adding a third kid quadruples the work, taking one away for a day cuts the work by three-fourths. (I don’t understand the math, I just live it.) Send one kid on a sleepover, and you’ll wonder why you ever thought having two kids was difficult
* Sometimes you have to tell them all to stop talking. Just stop. Stop talking. No more sound from any more mouths. “If anyone opens their mouth and says a word for the next 15 minutes, they will be banned from all electronics for a week.” True story.
* Relief via Partner. When you have one child and your spouse/partner takes that child out for a while, they are the savior who is giving you a break. When you have two children, if your spouse takes one of the kids out, at least they’re pulling their weight with 50 percent of the load. When you have three children, if your spouse takes just one of your kids out, go run after him/her. They are slinking away, shirking their duties — and should be punished accordingly.
* Vehicle Archaeology. Sure, parents of two may have found a couple of disgusting items in the depths of their car cushions, perhaps even fossilized and unidentifiable ones every once in a while. But only parents of three or more will find things so frightening they require a police inquiry.
* School Forms. We imagine that the sheer volume of school forms, art projects, and other papers that come home each day with two children can sometimes feel unmanageable. With three children, however, these stacks of paper will actually mate with each other and multiply while you are sleeping, to the point where old math worksheets will not only become your companions at the dinner table but your pillows in bed, your washcloths in the kitchen and your loofahs in the shower.
* When one kid is gone, it feels like a vacation.
Just as adding a third kid quadruples the work, taking one away for a day cuts the work by three-fourths. (I don’t understand the math, I just live it.) Send one kid on a sleepover, and you’ll wonder why you ever thought having two kids was difficult
* Sometimes you have to tell them all to stop talking. Just stop. Stop talking. No more sound from any more mouths. “If anyone opens their mouth and says a word for the next 15 minutes, they will be banned from all electronics for a week.” True story.
* Relief via Partner. When you have one child and your spouse/partner takes that child out for a while, they are the savior who is giving you a break. When you have two children, if your spouse takes one of the kids out, at least they’re pulling their weight with 50 percent of the load. When you have three children, if your spouse takes just one of your kids out, go run after him/her. They are slinking away, shirking their duties — and should be punished accordingly.
* Vehicle Archaeology. Sure, parents of two may have found a couple of disgusting items in the depths of their car cushions, perhaps even fossilized and unidentifiable ones every once in a while. But only parents of three or more will find things so frightening they require a police inquiry.
* School Forms. We imagine that the sheer volume of school forms, art projects, and other papers that come home each day with two children can sometimes feel unmanageable. With three children, however, these stacks of paper will actually mate with each other and multiply while you are sleeping, to the point where old math worksheets will not only become your companions at the dinner table but your pillows in bed, your washcloths in the kitchen and your loofahs in the shower.
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